Unbound Illusion
by 6 cats in the bag
Summary: After the news of Mello's death, Near isn't sure what to do anymore. He had always thought of Mello as a dear friend... and his heart is slowly shattering. He finally lets his emotions roam free. Emotional, depressing fic. T for unfortunate, sad events.
1. The Unbearing News

**A/N: Hello, everyone! I have a new story for all of you! YAY~! :) **_  
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**I've had this idea for a long while, and all I needed to do was plan it out. I really hope you like it~ (: **

**REVIEW! ...please :3**

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_"Vroom!"_

Near was sprawled out on the floor, endless amounts of toys surrounding him, encasing him in a whole new world: his own world. His own world, where there's emotion, where there's no Kira or criminals, and where L never dies. Yes, wouldn't that be the perfect world?

He pushed toy cars down ramps and raced them across the many square feet of slick flooring, predicting which one would most likely win and cross the finish line first.

Moments later, Near heard the doors slide open and footsteps rush into the room, pounding on the opaque flooring. He didn't need to look over his shoulder to see who it was, because it was pretty easy to assume that it was Commander Rester.

Rester stopped a few feet behind the albino and his toy-filled world, momentarily placing his hands on his knees and bending over to catch his breath.

"Near," he began, gulping down one last breath of air before continuing, "I have news."

"Good or bad?" Near asked in his usual expressionless tone. He was currently engaging two robots in a very amusing, very unnecessary wrestling match; he liked to keep himself entertained during the investigation. No one seemed to mind anyway.

Rester paused for a moment. "It depends."

It depends.

It depends?

This time, Near stopped what he was doing and peeked over his shoulder at the commander. He didn't ask why it depended all of a sudden. He didn't say anything. He just waited in silence for him to continue.

"Ah, right!" Rester cleared his throat and stood up straighter, taller. At first he didn't know how to announce it, so he just decided to let it tumble out of his mouth any way it liked.

"Near, Mello's dead."

_Clank. _

Near let hands go limp and the toys he was holding plummeted to the floor, banging around for a few seconds before stopping altogether. Near cast his eyes down, and let his mind wander to a certain area of time back at Wammy's House...

_"Near, you brat!" _

_Near looked up from his toys he was playing with on the blacktop outside Wammy's doors. He saw a certain hot-headed blonde storming right up to him. Near didn't try to run, he just sat there looking with plain coal-colored eyes. _

_Mello reached him and grabbed the collar of his white pyjama shirt, lifting him up with surprising strength and staring right into those emotionless eyes. This time, Near cringed. His feet dangled inches above the pavement. _

_"First again!" Mello screamed at him. "Always first, huh? No matter how hard I try! I try and try and try, but _you_, you stupid brat, always have to beat me!" _

_Orphans began to gather around, giving a little shriek and scuttling away when Mello gave them all an angry snarl. _

_"I study all night every night, and all those nights my eyeballs feel like they're going to drop out of their sockets because of _you. _Being second kills. I hate being second to you. But one day you're going to regret it. I will beat you one day, and you will be on your knees begging for my mercy." _

_Near didn't know why Mello was so worked up. He'd always been second to Near, and today was the day he'd decided to snap? Had he finally had enough? _

_Mello threw him to the ground. Near gave a tiny squeal of pain when he landed on top of his toys. He gazed up at Mello, who had his teeth bared and his eyes burned pure hatred. Near had to fight the urge to look away. _

_"I hate you so much!" the blonde hissed. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you..." He screamed that over his shoulder as he stomped away. _

_Near gathered himself and rubbed his back. He picked up his toys and placed them back on the blacktop, making sure they were standing straight. He sighed quietly. He didn't want to be hated by Mello. And even though he was, and was constantly picked on by him, he still thought of Mello as a friend. But he also knew Mello didn't feel the same. And it constantly killed him inside, tearing his heart to pieces. That's why he was always emotionless and kept to himself. And his heart continued to break and shatter when he thought of Mello as more than a friend... _

Near shook the flashback away, making sure all of it was out of his mind, no bits of it lingering. The feelings then hit him, the feelings where his heart was breaking and how he thought of Mello as more than a friend... More than a friend... Could he afford to think that way?

Mello is dead.

Mello is _dead. _

_Mello _is dead.

Near stayed silent. Before he could stop them, the thoughts and images came rushing into his mind. Images of silky-soft, golden locks, eyes that flickered like blue fire, a smile that seemed like it was sent down by heaven...

Although Mello never smiled. Never smiled around Near, anyway. Near's always seen him smile and snicker and laugh around Matt. What great friends they were. Sticking together like the brothers they wanted to be. Near knew he never had a chance.

He held up one of his finger puppets, staring at it with eyes that were filling with remorse. The finger puppet was Mello, with the angelic blonde hair, sapphire eyes, a determined smile and a large scar that stretched down the left portion of his face.

Near swallowed, almost choking on the despairing feeling that came after. "How did it happen?" Near asked, still managing to keep himself under control and still gazing at the finger puppet. He held up the finger puppet of his own self, pressing the two puppets together. He sighed.

"We don't know for sure," Rester explained. "but it seemed like he died while driving the truck he kidnapped Takada in. He drove it into a building and it suddenly set fire. Takada died as well, and the police went to check out the scene and found a body that was badly burned. The other, in the back of the truck, completely disinigrated. He could've died from the fire, but... the flames didn't quite get to him. I feel like there's more to his death, but I can't quite put my finger on it..."

"And Matt?"

Rester blinked before answering, "He was shot and killed by Takada's bodyguards, who are Kira worshippers."

Near merely nodded once. His eyes were staring at the floor. "Thank you for the information."

_Mello... _

Near blinked back tears that were prodding at him to let them flow down his pale cheeks. He just couldn't believe Mello was gone. Dead. Dead and gone.

_I'm not sure what to do anymore..._

He brushed the Mello puppet against his lips.

_You will surely be missed..._

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**A/N: Do you like it so far? Is it good? Is it bad? In between? Alright? Meh? Suckish? Anything? Review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is welcome. **_  
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**I'll try to update as frequently as I can. **

**Thank you(:**


	2. Nightmare

**A/N: Chapter two is up~! :) Please review if you have the time~ :) **

**I was listening to the song "It Ends Tonight" by The All-American Rejects as I wrote this. Love the song, love the band, love this chapter xD**

**Enjoy!**

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Near sat on his bed, hugging his legs to his chest and rocking back and forth as he wept quietly into his knees, his body racked with hysterical sobs and hiccups.

This was exactly the third night in a row he'd been crying over the fact of Mello's death. He did the same thing every night: he cried until his eyes had no more tears to spare. He was starting to receive bags under his eyes, from lack of sleep.

He was also very thin too, deathly thin. He hadn't been eating as much as he should, which later resulted in not eating at all. Commander Rester had been getting worried about the small, fragile white-haired boy ever since the news.

Near had eventually led himself into a state of depression. It prevented him from talking to people (although he never really was the social type anyways) and prevented him from taking part in the investigation. He still worked, but not as thoroughly as he had been.

He just couldn't stop thinking about Mello. He had grown fond and attached to him, and now the news of his death was jumping around his intelligent brain. Flashbacks from Wammy's House in the past often clouded his mind every now and then, making him even more remorseful when he caught glimpses of Mello.

Near emptied the tears from his eyes yet again, and lifted his snowy-white head. He sniffled once or twice before standing up, swaying unsteadily, and teetering over to the mirror hanging on the wall.

He stood there, examining his frail body and his thin frame. His untamed hair was tussled and messier then it had been before, and his eyes were droopy and his pale skin seemed to glow even whiter, even when it was dark in the room. His eyes were bloodshot and red and puffy from crying, and his ivory pyjamas were stained with glistening tears. He sighed deeply, breath shaking a bit. After one more quick glance in the mirror, he walked back to his bed and crawled under the duvet, blocking himself out from the world. It was late, and his sleep wasn't getting any better.

Closing his eyes, he slipped into an unconscious state of sleep.

_It was rainy, dark, and deathly quiet. Near was soaked to the bone, shivering uncontrollably as he ran down a narrow path in a forest of nothingness. There was nothing. No owls hooting, no wind rustling the bushes and branches of trees, no moon waning and no stars twinkling in the night sky. Just endless sets of spooky trees. No matter where he ran to, there was no escaping the trees with the gnarled branches that looked like giant claws._

_He started to sprint wildly, his breaths coming out in shaky gasps filled with terror and fear. He needed protection. He needed shelter. Or else he would collapse any second. _

_Rain pelted down to the earth, showering his skin with freezing drops of water. The frigid nips sent shockwaves of ice rush up his spine and flow through his veins. _

_Just then, Near suddenly ran into a circle of warmth. The snug feeling made his body convulse with pleasant shivers. He looked around, desperate to find the source of the heat. Then, his eyes rested on a heavenly sight. _

_There, sitting in the highest branch in one of the spooky-looking trees with gnarled branches, was a beautiful angel with radiating light. Near gaped in awe. He looked closely, and he saw long, shiny blonde hair and bright blue eyes and... a scar stretching down the left side of the angel's flawless face. _

_"Mello!" _

_The angel smiled. A smile so bright the whole world seemed to stop in time. Near caught himself staring for a long while, studying every outline, every detail, every dip and every curve of his body... _

_Mello the angel reached his hand out to the small boy on the forest floor. Near let a long sigh escape his mouth as he grinned and started to lift his hand to meet Mello's. _

_Suddenly, lightning tore through the sky like electric fingers. It snaked unwelcomingly around the sheet of blackness, the deafening noise ringing through Near's ears. He glanced up to see Mello's form slowly fading. _

_"No!" Near screamed, but his voice was drowned out by the sound of the lightning. _

_He felt sudden chills as the warmth faded as well, leaving goosebumps on his skin as the cold began to penetrate him once more. Mello's shimmering hair lost its normal glow and his eyes flickered out like a lamp. He wasn't smiling anymore. _

_"Mello, no, come back!" Near pleaded, feeling salty tears run down his cheeks. But the cold rain washed them away. "Please!" _

_In the blink of an eye, Mello the glowing angel was gone. He disappeared completely, leaving the albino frightened and alone. _

_"Mello..." _

_Then Near heard a terrorizing cackle and he whipped around to see one of the trees spring to life. It stretched its twisted branches/claws and reached out to grab him... _

Near woke up, a terror-stricken scream tearing its way out of his throat. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead. He tasted something salty and wet, and he realized he had been crying throughout the dream- no, nightmare.

He puffed out gasping breaths as he tried to shake himself back to reality. Bits and pieces of the nightmare lingered in his mind. Near shoved them to the back of his mind. He threw off the covers and got out of bed, retreating down the hallway to get a glass of water.

He saw Commander Rester, out like a light on the couch in the main room, papers in his hand. Near was glad he hadn't woken him up with his screaming. Rester had to stay at the SPK headquarters with Near, since he was kind of like his guardian and since Near didn't have a proper home to live in. Halle and Gevanni slept at their own houses.

Near poured himself some water and drank it intently. He hadn't realized how thirsty he was until now. He was just about to pour himself another glass when he heard a sleepy groan come from the couch.

Commander Rester sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes and turning his head in Near's direction. He blinked a couple times and stared at Near. Near stared back.

"What are you doing up?" Rester yawned, focusing his eyes on the albino. "Can't sleep?"

Near didn't say anything; didn't shake his head or nod or shrug. He just blinked.

"Something bothering you?"

Near looked down at the floor. He took a piece of snowy hair and started twirling it between his fingers, distracting himself.

"You can tell me."

Near looked up again. Rester already knew that Near was still upset and glum over the fact of Mello's death, and he couldn't find ways to cheer him up. He cared for the boy, and although he never showed any emotions on the outside, he knew he was overly depressed on the inside.

"I had a bad dream," Near mumbled. His voice was barely audible, but Rester heard every word.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"I... No thanks. I'd rather go to bed now. Good night, Commander Rester."

And with that, Near sauntered out of the room quietly, his head lowered as he disappeared from the room. Rester gazed after him, his heart swimming in cold water.

As Near fell into bed, his eyes became wet, and it wasn't long until the tears finally spilled over.

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**A/N: Okay, just a note, this story might be overly depressing. I'm kind of in a depressed state right now, so I'm really just taking out all my depression and hurt and putting it in this story. So if it's too depressing... uh, yeah. If you were looking for a happy, humoring story, you obviously searched wrong, lol~ :)**

**Make me and the review button happy and REVIEW~! :D **


	3. Attempt

**Grab a tissue, you'll need it.**

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Near sat on a rickety bench against a ratty wall in the subway station deep underground. His eyes stared listlessly at people rushing past him; people boarding newly-arriving subway trains, people darting every which-way with brief cases cursing and muttering, "I'm late. I'm so late." to themselves under their breath, people talking or chattering loudly on the phone, or just standing around tiredly waiting to board a train.

Near shivered uncomfortably. The air was very chilly underground and it constantly nipped at his skin. His pyjamas were too thin to insulate him from the benumbed atmosphere, and he didn't bring a jacket or a sweater.

But he didn't care. He just didn't care.

Some people gave the albino weird looks as they passed by nonchalantly. Looks that said, "What in the world is a weird scrawny kid in pyjamas doing at a subway station?"

But he didn't care. He just didn't care.

He continued to sit as still as a statue, heart pounding in his chest, waiting for the next subway train to arrive.

He was going to do it. He was going to step in front of the train and kill himself.

He briefly wondered what his blood would look like on the subway's walls.

Pushing the agonizing thought to the back of his mind, he fixed his eyes to continue to stare at the abandoned railway tracks, still waiting. Waiting, waiting. The seconds seemed to pass by frustratingly slow, as if the world wanted him to live a little longer.

Near was up to the point where he couldn't bother to live anymore. Mello's death was still crushing him, pounding him into the ground. Tearing his heart into a million pieces. And ripping him guiltlessly in half as if he was just a discarded piece of paper that had no use to anyone anymore. It was so bad and up to the point where he felt like nothing more than an abandoned toy left lying on the middle of the street, waiting fretfully to be run over by a car any moment. There was no purpose. No purpose.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the tears from escaping his eyes as they began to well up behind them. Taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself, he opened them again and looked at the people beginning to gather around the platform.

Then, a lady with a chill voice came over the intercom. _"The next subway train is bound to arrive in exactly thirty seconds. Thirty seconds," _she repeated.

With one last swallow, Near stood up.

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"Gevanni, do you know where Near went?" Commander Rester asked as he rushed back into the room, a worried expression scrawled on his face.

"No, why? Is he gone?"

"Yes, I looked everywhere and searched his room. I can't find him anywhere. And the trouble is is that he doesn't even _go _anywhere."

"Well, it won't hurt to look again."

Rester nodded. Gevanni stood up and walked towards Near's room, Rester at his heels, Lidner watching them go before returning back to her duties. Gevanni rattled the doorknob before pushing the door open and stepping inside. He scanned the entire room, which was very neat and organized. His eyes finally rested on a small folded piece of paper sitting on Near's bedside table.

_You obviously didn't look hard enough to not notice this, _Gevanni thought silently, referring to Rester. He picked up the paper, unfolded it and saw that it was a letter. He read the neat cursive writing out loud,

_Dear Rester, Gevanni and Lidner,_

_If any one of you is reading this letter, I am probably dead by now, or close to being dead, for that matter. My mournings over Mello's death has done nothing, and it is too much to bear. I can no longer live with myself. I don't want to live anymore. I have no other purpose besides the investigation, which I have been neglecting greatly. But I am sure you don't need me anymore, since you have been doing a bang-up job of nearly deciphering the case, even without me. I am sure you will have the investigation figured out within a heartbeat. You are all talented. I am nothing anymore. I am choosing not to live. Do you see where I'm going with this? Do I need to say it? _

_Since I'm already dead, it's impossible to save me now, so I'll just tell you this: I committed suicide on January 28, 2010 at the International Subway Station._

_Near_

Rester's eyes got wider and wider as Gevanni read the note, nowhere believing what he's hearing. When Gevanni finished, he just stared at the piece of paper before rereading it again, wasting precious time.

"You... don't think h...he actually _did _it_, _do you?" Rester asked, choking out every word.

"I really want to believe that," Gevanni responded blankly. "But Near wouldn't joke about suicide, would he?"

Rester shook his head very slowly, the words from the note Near left all jumping around in his head. His head shot back up to meet Gevanni's eyes. "We have to go there. _Now._"

"What? But he's probably already dead by now."

"No.. no he can't be. But if he is, atleast we'll be the ones who see it happen so we can grieve for him."

Gevanni nodded, his eyes staring at the floor.

"Well, come on!" Rester urges, throwing his arm in the direction of the door. "We can't afford to waste time!"

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Near heard the screeching of the train darting up the tracks. His hands trembled, but he forced them at his sides. Inhaling a deep, unstable breath, Near put one foot in front of the other. He walked mutely towards the unoccupied, staring straight ahead, not letting his eyes wander anywhere else. The train's noises got louder as it approached.

People started to point and gasp when Near stepped past the yellow line signalling you should never go any farther than that. The train's headlights bore through the darkness of the tunnel, bearing down on Near, who took one last step that laid his whole death before him.

He felt two pairs of large hands grip his shoulders and yank him back. Before Near could stumble away from the train, he felt an excruciating pain shoot up his leg as impact struck it. He fell back, stunned and in severe pain at the same time. His vision went black and fuzzy around the edges and he heard people screaming and saw them back away from the scene. Near looked up to see two familiar faces gazing down at him: Rester and Gevanni.

The throbbing pain made him nauseous, so nauseous that he couldn't take it any longer. His stomach churned and he started to throw up all over the ground. He felt a firm but gentle hand rub his back as he retched, soothing him and speaking calming words. But Near could barely hear them because he was starting to get dizzy and it wasn't long before his vision went black and he passed out.

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**A/N: Oh my. Wasn't that dreadful. **

**Side note: If no one could figure it out, Near's leg got hit by the train as it rushed past, in case you were like, "What?" But since all of you are so smart, I bet you could've figured it out on your own :) **

**Reviews make my day~! :)**


	4. Hospitalized

**A/N: I forgot to mention, I do not own Death Note (I wish I did) and its characters. Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata are the rightful owners. But I do own Maria, hence I made her up for this chapter :)**

**Enjoy, and please review~**

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Near opened his eyes to a plain, musty-smelling room. He rubbed them groggily with his fists and blinked several times to get rid of the blurriness clouding his vision. He lifted his head slightly, wincing when it ached, and looked around.

Four walls incased him, the same color as his pyjamas: plain white and emotionless. The whole room seemed to have a sad, monotony feel to it. It made Near feel blue. Not that he already wasn't.

Near realized that he was lying on a single bed, the soft mattress welcoming under his body. It made him feel like he was back at Wammy's. The beds were always comfortable there. Then his heart dropped when memories came swarming into his mind, overtaking him and leaving him languished and eyes welling up with fresh tears. _Come on, Near, you have to stop living in the past. Reality is in the present, and every day is one more step closer to catching Kira, _he'd always tell himself, just to lift his spirits a smidgeon higher.

Near swallowed before realizing that there was soft music filling the room, and he glanced to where the harmonious melody was coming from. It was flowing out of a small boombox perched on a gray marble table against the wall by the door, overlooking the room. Near was confused. Where was he?

He then tried to sit up slowly at first, but found that he couldn't. His leg ached with the effort. Near tried to force himself to sit up more roughly, but a splitting pain shot up his leg. A quiet but pained moan escaped his throat. He then realized that his throbbing leg was wrapped delicately in a cast, and it was suspended in the air by a sling hanging from a rod on the ceiling. He was befuddled for a moment, but then the events of last night hit him right in the face.

He remembered that he had tried to commit suicide by stepping in front of a train, and that Gevanni and Rester had come to the rescue and pulled him out of the way before he could be harmed. He had tried to kill himself because of Mello. One single person that changed his life drastically.

Near's face fell. He laid his head back on the feather-like pillow. He sniffled once, and his eyes became wet. _No, _Near thought immediately, his forehead creased and his face scrunched. _I'm done with crying. _

He let out a breath and closed his eyes. _No more crying. I can't cry anymore. I won't cry anymore. _He repeated those words inside his head until he didn't feel like crying anymore and the wetness left his eyes.

Just then he heard movement and the door creak open, and he snapped his head in the direction of the noise, startled.

A young woman appeared from behind the door, stepping inside the room casually. She wore a white button-up dress and a nurse's hat. She carried a clipboard under her arm and a pencil behind her ear. She had long brown hair and green-blue eyes and she was smiling brightly.

Near stared at her. "Oh, you're awake!" she exclaimed. She had a high, excited voice like everything in life was great for her. She looked away, turning to shut the boombox off. An awkward silence hung in the air.

"Are you feeling okay, Near?" she asked, turning to face him again. She held the clipboard to her chest, her face full of concern now.

_Who is this woman? How does she know my name?_

Near didn't answer. Instead, he said, "Who are you?"

The woman smiled again, bigger than before. Her eyes glowed with cheerfulness. Near wished he could be as happy and emotional as her. "My name is Maria," she responded, holding her hand out in greeting. Near didn't take it, just eyed it suspiciously. She withdrawed it slowly, placing it on her clipboard again.

"I'm in an emergency room, aren't I?"

"Of course you are, Near Rivers."

_Near Rivers? _

Then he began to understand. Gevanni and Rester must've brought him to the hospital after the incident with the train because of his shattered leg, and his name had to continue to be kept a secret since he was basically L, so they combined his alias with his true surname to keep him safe. Near nodded his head as he deduced it, not realizing it until he was snapped back to reality by Maria's high voice.

"Do you wish for me to bring in your guardians, Mr. Gevanni and Mr. Rester?"

Near nodded. Maria swept out of the room, closing the door behind her. A few moments later it swung open again and Rester and Gevanni slipped out from behind it.

"Hello, Near," Rester said, a small grin forming on his face. Gevanni mimicked the gesture, walking towards Near who was staring at them with impassive but pained eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

Near just shrugged. He let his shoulders drop so hard that his injured leg jiggled and he winced from the sharp sting that snaked through it.

Rester sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked into Near's onyx eyes, taking in the pain, the misery, the depression, and the emotion held inside, locked up like a vault that will never be opened.

Then a question hit Rester's mind, and soon his was itching to say it to Near. He knew he shouldn't poke and prod just yet, since the albino needed a bit more time to recover from the shock and pain of yesterday's events, but he couldn't hold it in anymore. He hesitated for a moment before he let it pour out of his mouth. "Why did you do it, Near?"

Near flinched. He knew he was referring to yesterday, when he almost died. Almost killed himself by using the train.

He remembered bits and pieces of what happened, the important things, like standing up when the lady on the intercom said the train would arrive in thirty seconds, walking towards the platform slowly while his heart pounded furiously in his chest, the screeching of the train ringing in his ears as it got closer and he got closer to the tracks, the people pointing and screaming when he almost got hit, Gevanni and Rester pulling him out of the way just in time, and the searing pain he felt when the train flew right into his leg. The rest was a distant dream. He just wished he could forget the important parts like he forgot the rest.

"Near?" Rester said.

Near could tell Rester wasn't trying to be to pushy for an answer. He wanted to know because he cared for him, and he would do anything to help him if he needed.

"I..." Near began, although he wasn't sure how to, exactly. "...I guess I was down to my last straw. I just felt like I was a wasted piece of trash with no emotions whatsoever. The agony of losing Mello made me not want to live anymore." And soon enough Near was rambling on about about his feelings, which surprised him, but Rester and Gevanni were happy that he was finally feeling some emotion inside of him.

"Near, we know you cared for Mello, and still do, obviously," Gevanni said, edging closer on the bed to sit right next to Near. "but you can't keep grieving forever. It won't help if you do, it will just make you more depressed and dejected. You can't keep beating yourself up over it. You have to let it go someday." He saw Near's face fall for a moment and he quickly added, "But you don't have to immediately. I understand that Mello's death was shocking, and you feel sick at heart. Lots of people do when they lose someone they care about deeply. But they don't mourn forever, do they?"

Near was quiet. He didn't say anything in response, he just thought about what Gevanni said.

"And, yeah, you're going to have a broken leg for a while," Gevanni remarked, gesturing to cast. "but that doesn't mean you can give up. We still have the Kira case to bring to a close, right? We can't just push that aside."

Near nodded abruptly. Gevanni was right. He was going to solve the case no matter what. That's all that matters right now, solving the case and bringing Kira to justice.

Gevanni noticed the determined look on Near's face and smiled.

"But, Near, you're going to have to stay here overnight until you can come back to headquarters. Maria will watch and take care of you."

"I think she's too peppy for me," Near murmured.

Gevanni and Rester both started to laugh. Then the door opened for the third time and Maria (speak of the devil) bounced in, still hugging the clipboard to her chest.

"I'm sorry, boys, but you're going to have to leave now. Visiting hours are over."

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**A/N: I realize that was pretty short, because I was having lots of brain farts while writing this, so this took a while to write, because I kept taking breaks to replenish my brain, and all that jazz. I do hope you enjoy, still, though. :) **

**Also, someone suggested in one of their reviews that many people would probably feel really depressed after reading this story (mostly after reading chapter 3), so they asked me if I could put a link to a happy song, you know, to make you a bit happy again (or at least give a tiny smile). **

**So, okay. watch?v=0zBoD_ojxFA**

**There you go. **

**I really hope this isn't illegal. **

**REVIEW~!**


	5. White and Gray

**A/N: It's 1:00 in the morning, and I'm so tired. But, I decided to write this, with my eyes half closed, lol. So, if it's not that well-written or anything, blame the tiredness. **

**I do hope you enjoy. This chapter doesn't really have anything really meaningful in it, it's just basically how well Near is coping in the hospital. :) **

**Please review~! You know how much I love reviews, right? Yes? No? Well, then. **

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It had been exactly a full week since Near had awakened in the hospital, and Rester and Gevanni visited him whenever they had time off work. They added a bit of color to the room when they came in with their brightly colored ties. It spruced the plain white hospital room up a bit.

That's the only color Near had seen during the week. White. White and gray. He'd seen the two calamitous colors so much that if he saw any other colors, his eyes would hurt.

White. The four walls surrounding him were white. The bed he laid on was white. The hard-tiled floor was white. The nurses' outfits were white. The equipment was mostly white. His cast and sling were white. His hospital gown was white. He almost looked like a ghost, with his pale skin, dark, emotionless pits he has for eyes, wispy white hair that looked like newly fallen snow, and his flowing hospital gown to top it all off.

Gray. The small boom box which plays music harmoniously, notes flowing out of the speakers as gentle as an autumn breeze, was also a dull gray. The ceiling was probably supposed to be white, but looked gray due to lack of cleanliness. The dusty corners of the room were gray. The sink was gray. The doorknobs, the windowsill, even the metal tray which Maria brings in for him, varieties of food placed orderly on the surface, was also very much gray.

Gray and white. Was the whole hospital those depressing shades of color as well?

Near sighed, staring up stony-eyed at the ceiling. He stared at it so long and focused that he started to make out vague designs, tracing them with his impassive orbs. His hands were laid heedlessly on his chest, one placed gingerly on top of the other. His breathing came out steady and idle. Maybe he wasn't a ghost after all.

Near was so lost in the designs of the ceiling that he never noticed Maria popping her head in the room. He jumped when he heard her exuberant voice for the millionth time. He never really got used to it, and he thought he never would.

"I just came in to check on you again," she crooned, inviting herself into the room.

Near just stared at her, like he usually did.

"Right. Well, how's your leg?"

Near turned his gaze to his broken leg, staring at the hardened cast. Deciding to test it out, he moved his leg once, twice, thrice. It didn't hurt as much as before, but it ached uncomfortably.

"Still sore?" Maria asked, noticing Near's grim expression. He nodded, not looking at her.

"At least it's getting better. You'll probably be able to go home in, what, let's say three days from now? If not that then about another week at the most."

Near reached up and took a piece of his hair between his nimble fingers, twirling it blankly.

Maria sighed. Near was one of the hardest patients she ever had to deal with. Not hard to control, no way, but hard to read. She couldn't read his emotions as she could with other patients, that's why she always had to ask him how he was feeling, and so on.

"Do you need anything?" she inquired, trying to make conversation. "Food? Water? A new blanket? Anything?"

Near paused for a moment. "Water, please."

Maria smiled. At least he was finally asking for something. "Of course," she said. She stood up and waltzed out of the room, emerging a minute later with a glass of water in her hand. She handed it to the boy, who took it gratefully.

He put the cup to his lips, tipped it up and drank, his throat screaming in victory as the liquid rushed down it, quenching his thirst. He finished and handed it back to Maria, who was still grinning.

"Good boy," she praised.

Suddenly Near yawned, eyes watering as tiredness overwhelmed him, flooding him like a hungry wave and devouring him. It surprised him how exhausted he felt all of a sudden. Maria noticed and patted his pillow, motioning for him to lie down. He did, his head feeling heavier.

"Why don't you have a good night's sleep? I'll be here to check on you in the morning again," Maria insisted. She pulled the covers more snugly over him, a gesture Near remembered hazily when he was just a wee child. He was sad when he couldn't remember his mother's face.

As Near's eyes began to droop, Maria tiptoed over to the door, but was stopped by a sleepy voice.

"M...Maria?"

"Mmm?" She turned around. Dark eyes stared into hers.

"Ca...can you tell Rester to...to come see me tomorrow? I...I need to talk to him...mmm..." Near mumbled sleepily.

"Of course, Near," Maria said. And with that, she turned off the lights and walked silently out the door.

* * *

The next morning, Near woke up hazily, ignoring the throbbing in his leg. He must've bashed it around as he slept.

It seemed like he had slept really well, not noticing what he had done to the place. Half of his sheets were hanging off the bed, and the other half was barely covering his body. His pillow was strewn on the floor and his good leg was hanging off the side of the bed.

He must've dreamt again. Although he couldn't remember any part of it, he knew he had one. Was it a nightmare? A good dream? Why was he sweating all over?

He noticed he was practically sticking to the bed. The sweat trailed down his face and soaked into the rough canvas of the mattress.

Near blinked his eyes, ridding them of the blurriness clouding his vision. He noticed a familiar face staring at him.

Commander Rester.

"Morning, Near," Rester greeted. "Have a good sleep?"

Obviously he hadn't noticed his mutilated bed.

"Uh, yeah..." Near said, rubbing his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Maria called me, told me you wanted to talk to me."

"Oh, right."

"...So?" Rester prompted.

"Hmm?"

"...You wanted to talk?"

"Oh, ah-"

"Near, you aren't usually like this. You're usually alert, what's going on?"

Near shrugged his shoulders. "..."

Rester decided it was time to change the subject. He would ask later. "How's your leg? Maria says you're able to come back in a few days."

Near nodded. "Fine."

"..."

"Rester, I wanted to talk to you about the Kira case," Near finally spoke up.

"Yes?"

"What have you done so far?"

"Well, since you suspect the fake L, Gevanni and I set up a time and a place to meet with him face-to-face. I knew you would want that, to prove his is Kira and to bring him to justice."

"What's the time and place?"

"Daikoku Wharf, the Yellow Box Warehouse, at 1:00 PM on February 7. We originally planned it to be on January 28, but that's when we had to take you to the hospital."

_February 7... That's three days from now..._

"And I will be released from the hospital by then?"

"Yes, most likely."

"Okay, thank you."

Rester nodded. A thick silence hung between them, but was shattered when Rester decided to break it.

"Well, I'd better get back to work," Rester glanced at his watch, sucking in a sharp breath. "Yep, I better go, Gevanni's waiting."

Near watched as he stood up to leave. Rester told him goodbye and rushed out the door.

_I will have a proper conversation about how he's doing with him later,_ Rester vowed in his head as he got into his car.

He stepped on the gas and drove out of the parking lot in a rush, Near watching him through the tiny frosted window, wishing he was still here in the room with him, willing him to keep on going.

He liked when Rester told him he was brave, because, deep in his heart, he knew he was, even if he seemed weak on the outside. Even if he seemed like he would topple over if you poked him lightly with a stick. Even if he was still remorseful.

But he willed himself to be brave. He would be brave for Rester. He would be brave for Gevanni, for Halle, for L...

...and he would be brave for Mello.

* * *

**A/N: Do you think the ending's too cheesy? Oh well. **

**I kind of got a bit lazy at the end, so sorry if it's a bit rushed. **

**Please tell me if you enjoyed. I would love to hear feedback from you about this chapter. :) **

**Feel free to PM me anytime you'd like. I would love to talk to you~ :) **

**Now... HIT THAT REVIEW BUTTON! **

**...please? **


	6. Comatose

**A/N: Well, I definitely uploaded this chapter later than I originally intended to. Oh, well. Now it's here! **

**Anyway, I probably won't be able to upload as frequently anymore, because I am going through a rough time. I'll be lucky if I can update twice a week. But I'm naturally aiming for at least every Friday, because my parents have started to leave me alone every Friday night so they can go out drinking and whatnot, and they end up staying until at least 1:00 in the morning, so, yeah. That's really the only time I can write a whole chapter. **

**What I'm going through is really rough, and I don't want to spend this whole author's note ranting about how my life is going right now, because I don't want you to feel sorry for me. But, I have been feeling extremely lonely the past weeks, and I need someone to talk to. **

**So, anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I tried to make it long but I think I failed miserably Dx**

**Please R&R :) Thank you~**

* * *

Near had high spirits since the latest heart-to-heart talk with Rester. He was hoping he'd get better enough to finally get out of this ungodly, depressing hospital. He was determined to bring Kira down, for he knew Rester and the rest of his team couldn't do it alone.

Well, Near started off getting better.

His leg was healing as laggard as a turtle, but at least it was getting better, right? Besides, it didn't need to fully heal for a ticket out of the hospital.

Maria continued to bring Near whatever he needed; from food to special medications; from a fluffened pillow to warm, cleanly sheets. His leg was even out of the sling.

As a bright upside to being trapped inside the four plain walls, Rester and Gevanni managed to visit him daily, since they really had nothing to do at work since Near was still in the hospital and the date and time was already set to meet L. Near had also received a pretty bouquet of flowers and a "Get Well Soon" card from Lidner. The variety of admirable orchids added a splash of color to the room, making it feel more enticing and welcoming.

Near sometimes practiced walking with the cast on when he was by himself. At first he was wobbly, and he wasn't using crutches. But gradually he managed to pass the "limping like a hobo" stage.

Indeed, he was getting better.

He started out that way.

A few days later, Near woke up, immediately not feeling well at all. His throat felt scratchy and inflamed, and it felt like he hadn't drank anything for a week. He felt hot and a feverish feeling crept through his body. His lower torso and thighs felt achy and his muscles were tight and clenched. Near coughed once, which genuinely turned into a hacking wheeze and his throat screamed in protest. He hurt all over.

And his leg.

Oh, his leg.

It burned like hell. It felt like someone had twisted it and all the fluids and blood of his veins had been sucked dry. Near didn't even bother to try to move it.

Near felt like the sun was hanging from the ceiling. He was scorching hot, and he exasperatingly threw the covers off his clammy body. Near let out a groan when he didn't feel any cooler. He was sweating slightly, sticking to the mattress of the hospital bed.

As much as he wanted to, he couldn't move. If he did, it would irritate his leg and it would hurt more agonizingly than when he first woke up from his deep slumber.

So Near just laid there. For seconds, for minutes, for hours, even, maybe, for all he knew.

He tried closing his eyes for a rest. But the ill feeling his body radiated wouldn't let him. Near mentally threw his arms up in frustration.

He cracked open his eyes feebly. The ceiling was the first to greet him. It was as dusty and lucid as always, giving off a dull feeling.

His gaze wavered; everything was blurrier than before. He felt dizzy. Maybe the sickly state of him was affecting his eyesight.

Near squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the dizziness away. That's when the door creaked open.

Maria crossed the threshold. She let out a shrill gasp when Near turned his head ever so slowly to face her, looking more sickly than when she last saw him. His eyes and cheeks where sunken, and his nose was lightly tinted pink. Also, his face seemed thinner and his cheekbones weren't as vague.

"Near, what's wrong?" Maria asked, concerned. She took a few steps closer to the bed.

Near coughed weakly as a response. His throat wailed and he glared sullenly at his palpitate leg.

Maria walked cautiously over to the bed, overlooking the weak-looking boy sprawled on the mattress. She rested a gentle hand on his pale forehead, pulling it back when it felt dangerously warm. Cringing, she reached out and felt along the boy's body, massaging it on the sides, on his stomach, and along his thighs. Near flinched uncomfortably, but he knew she was just checking for anything unusual.

Maria put both hands on the sides of his face and felt his glands, delicately pressing on them, rubbing them with her thumbs. She exhaled numbly when they felt swollen.

"Can you sit up?" Maria inquired, retracting and biting her lower lip.

Near let out a pained moan when he tried to prop himself up, his muscles screaming and body aching.

"I guess not, huh?" Maria remarked, mostly to herself.

She grabbed Near's shoulders and helped him sit up on the edge of the bed. When she let go, he swayed for a moment, but managed to sit as still as possible. Maria managed a small grin.

Near watched her cross the room to the sink where tongue depressors, cotton balls and disposable thermometers were kept in jars. She opened the tongue depressor jar and took a fresh one out, delicately holding it between her plastic-gloved fingers. Walking towards him, she told him to open his mouth as she waved the depressor in front of his lips. He did as he was told.

Maria pressed the depressor against his tongue, bending her knees a few inches to see down the young boy's throat.

"Near, say, aaaah, for me please," Maria instructed, still peering down his gullet.

"Aaaah...?"

Maria saw that the boy's throat was crimson and his tonsils were swollen. She took the tongue depressor out of his mouth, not saying anything, and threw it away.

Then, she decided to check his leg.

"Do you mind if I check your leg?"

Near paused briefly before nodding slightly. He turned his focus towards his still-throbbing leg.

In order to check his leg, she had to saw the cast off, since it was too hard to just unwrap. She gained an OK from Near, and proceeded to saw the molded figure from his leg.

The two halves fell to the floor, and Maria put the saw down. She turned back to his leg, and gasped at what she saw.

The skin was splotchy and yellow and was grotesquely peeling off in some areas. As well, his leg was held at an odd angle.

His leg was severely infected.

It finally hit Maria smack in the head. The infection had caused Near's ill state during the night and managed to infect his whole body.

Except, she wasn't sure how it got infected in the first place.

"Near..." she breathed numbly.

Near looked down at his leg, flinching when he saw it. His stomach started to churn and he swallowed thickly. How did his leg get so infected?

He leaned forward slowly, reaching out with nimble fingers to touch the skin. He took in a breath- wondering if it would hurt or not- and carefully laid his outstretched fingers on the flaky epidermis.

His fingers lingered, and he let out a shaky breath when he could barely feel anything. But he was careful not to press to hard when he decided to caress the skin gently. As he did so, he observed how his skin felt: rough, and scaly, and as flaky as a puff pastry.

He pulled back, still staring at his leg with glazed eyes. He blinked once, twice, before looking at Maria.

She looked back at him. She noted how small and fragile he seemed; as small and fragile as a young child, still figuring out the meaning of life. Because, truth is, life isn't fair.

Life isn't fair at all.

"Don't worry, Near," Maria piped up as cheerful as she could manage. "I will have that leg fixed right up! Once that's done, you'll be well on your way to getting out of the hospital."

Near nodded slowly.

"For now, why don't you get some rest?"

Near stared at the floor, then his leg, then back to Maria. He blinked and nodded again, just once.

Maria flashed him a quick smile before strolling out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

When she was gone, Near suddenly felt a wavering emptiness in the bottom of his stomach. At first he didn't know why, but then it hit him like a brick and he realized.

He realized he didn't like being alone.

Had he ever had this feeling before? Certainly not, because at Wammy's there was Mello- although he rarely paid any attention to the white haired boy- and Rester and Gevanni and sometimes Lidner where there now to fill the void. And, now that he was at the hospital, he had Maria.

But still he felt a bit lonely.

Was it because of Mello? He rarely had the feeling of loneliness when Mello was still alive, even though they rarely spoke on a regular basis, even during the race to succeed L and the race to get to Kira first.

But Near had won, hadn't he? Since Mello was deceased, there was no way he could get to Kira now. So, did that mean Kira won, or Near won?

The last time Near saw Mello was when he crossed the doors to the SPK HQ, holding Lidner at gunpoint. Mello had then held Near at gunpoint when Near said it was all thanks to him for getting him one step closer to capturing Kira.

That was when the official race to capture Kira was on.

And that was the last time Mello ever crossed those doors.

* * *

When Near opened his eyes from his deep, relaxing rest, a beam of sunlight filtered through the single window on the opposite wall, hitting him square in the eyes. He winced and blinked them rapidly. When he was brought to his senses, he felt something weird and slimy on his leg.

He looked down and saw that his infected limb was coated in an oozing, green-brown liquid. It also smelled very foul. Near had to pinch his nostrils to block the stench from crawling into his nose. Medicine of some sort? Lotion? He didn't know for sure.

Near didn't even try to touch it or find out what it was. Probably something to help the infected skin. He decided to stick with that hypothesis and flopped back down on his pillow.

He stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. There was nothing else to do but stare. At least it kept his eyes busy. But there was nothing to keep his hands busy.

Near then remembered his toys. They were still at headquarters. No wonder he was so bored and lifeless.

He gazed down at his hands, expecting to find his favorite robot clamped between his fingers, but found they were empty. He wiggled his fingers before clamping them together, then stretched them open wide again.

He continued that routine until his fingers felt sore. He shook them softly, realizing he had spent a few minutes continuing that exercise.

Near exhaled shallowly and rested a pale hand on his forehead. It still felt scaldingly warm, and his arm ached with the effort of raising a hand to his head.

He let out an audible whimper when he let his arm drop too hard and it collided with the wooden edge of the bed. Rubbing it thoroughly with his other hand, he snuggled under the covers until only the top half of his face was visible. He let out a soft sigh before realizing his eyelids were getting heavier, despite him recently having a nap.

He let his eyes close and he drifted off into worry-free depths of sleep and delicate dreams that sometimes, just sometimes, he treasured close to his heart.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Near. I'm sorry to have to do this to him, but this story's supposed to be angsty, no? **

**Also, I've recently come up with some great story ideas and I want to start writing them right away, but since I have some other fics I desperately need to update (sorry, I've been lazy, and just too depressed to write) I won't start until I finish this, and hopefully the other ones. Sorry guys, looks like you'll have to wait. :P **

**Thanks for reading. If there are any weird mistakes in this, I'm sorry, I wrote this on my iPad and you know how annoying it is to type on those things, am I right? :3 **

**Review and make my day~**


	7. Downhill

**A/N: New chapter already? I'm surprised. :) **

**This chapter was pretty easy to write, actually. It's emotional yet subtle. I like this chapter, actually, although it is pretty angsty. Lots of sad songs were used to produce this chapter. Here are some I was listening to while writing: **

**Roses - Poets of the Fall **

**You & I - Secondhand Serenade **

**Comatose - Skillet **

**Lacrymosa - Evanescence (this song is what spurred the chapter title) **

**Make Me Wanna Die - The Pretty Reckless (it's not technically sad, really, but whatever) **

**Shattered - Trading Yesterday **

**So, yeah. Anyway, it's horrendously late and my parents are out once again. Not surprised. _Anyway, _I have one more exam coming up, and then it's summer break! :) So, once that comes, I probably won't be updating that frequently... because I have like, two trips scheduled for summer break. But while I'm on them I'll probably be able to write them. We'll have to see. **

**R&R please :) And enjoy! **

* * *

"Oh, Near..."

Near watched Rester's eyes widen with shock and sheer surprise as he looked down on the fragile boy tangled in white hospital sheets. Gevanni was equally just as surprised, jaw slightly hanging open, eyes wide and body stiff. Near's dark eyes shifted from one man to the other, finally having to look away awkwardly when they continued to stare.

"What happened to you?" Rester asked, expression still full of dismay.

Near opened his mouth, but instead of words hacking coughs came out instead.

"I'll answer for him," Maria murmured, who was observing from the other end of the room. She took a few steps forward as Rester and Gevanni turned to her. "His broken leg is severely infected, and some of the infection spread through his body and that's how he's received a high fever. But it's also fatal." She glanced at Near quickly before turning back to the two shocked men and continuing, "We're doing everything we can to cure him. With proper treatment and aesthetics, he'll be as good as new."

Rester and Gevanni nodded, letting that sink in.

"Do you mind if we talk with him, alone?" Rester wondered.

"Not at all." Maria walked out and closed the door softly behind her.

After she left, Rester bent down next to Near's bed so their faces were the same height. Gevanni followed suit and looked into Near's eyes dolefully.

"I thought I was going to be fine before the meeting with L..." Near rasped, the first to speak.

"We did too. But obviously, you're not," Gevanni said. "We'll have to postpone the meeting again-"

"No!" Near cut him off, voice raised, surprising himself and the two men in front of him. "I... I can go-" Cough. "-to the meeting. I don't-" Another wheeze. "-want to look weak. Please. I can go..." Near was almost on the verge of begging like a small child as Rester shook his head.

"No, Near," he said firmly. "You're not well at all. What good would it do to go when you're deathly ill? You'd look much weaker then than if you didn't go."

Near opened his mouth to argue, something he never usually did, but snapped it shut when he didn't feel the need.

"Rester's right, Near," Gevanni remarked. "What's the point in going when you're sick?"

Truthfully, Near didn't have an answer for that. He paused for a long while, then turned his head towards the ceiling and stared at it. Again. An awkward silence hung in the air. Other than that, all he could hear were sounds of breathing, and all he could feel was the cool air that rushed through the room and his own stomach rising and falling. All he could feel was the awful pain of his raw throat burning. All he could feel was his heart pounding roughly against his chest. All he could feel was the afflicted pain of his injured leg. All he could feel was his hot breath as he breathed. And all he could feel was the presence of the other men lingering in the room.

"Near?" piped up a recognizable voice as it floated out from behind the door.

Near turned his head. Rester and Gevanni were already standing up.

"Sorry, but Near has to have more tests done and-"

Rester interrupted her before she could say anything else, "Right. We'll be leaving now."

Gevanni gave Near a comforting, gentle pat on the shoulder before slipping out of the room. Rester held Near's gaze, nodding a farewell before looking away and following the other man. The door shut, leaving Near and Maria alone together.

"Right. Well, Near, before I let you rest, I'm going to have to take your blood pressure and check your throat again."

Near nodded slowly, greasy white locks bobbing in front of his face. They covered his eyes and stuck to his face. He watched Maria take the sphygmomanometer- otherwise known as the blood pressure device- off the wall and wrap it around his slim forearm. Then she took out an authentic stethoscope and pressed it to his arm, listening to the blood rush through his arteries as she inflated the cuff. Near immediately felt the cuff tighten around his forearm uncomfortably, and clenched his teeth to keep from calling out in surprise. Numbers popped up on the gauge and Maria stopped inflating. She took the stethoscope out of her ears and unstrapped the cuff from around Near's arm. He let a small sigh escape as he felt the pressure being taken off, and let his arm go limp.

"Well, your blood pressure is normal, which is a very good thing in your condition," Maria told him, setting the stethoscope and the sphygmomanometer down on the table.

Near felt relieved. If his blood pressure was too high or too low, then it would take a bigger turn for the worst.

Maria took out a new tongue depressor and walked over to Near. He opened his mouth reluctantly and let her press the depressor against his aching tongue.

"Hmm, wait a minute," Maria mumbled. She stood up and sauntered over to the drawers under the sink, rummaging around until she found one of those lights you shine in people's ears or down their throats. When she turned around, her face was a bit puzzled and worried.

Maria turned the light on and shone it down his esophagus while pressing the depressor against his tongue again. The light felt warm as it was shone in his mouth.

When she was finished, she stepped back, and Near saw her throat working, clear bafflement in her expression.

"Maria...?"

Maria mumbled something under her breath that Near couldn't catch. She put the light down and opened up one of the medicine cupboards, scanning all the bottles until she closed her hand around a small blue one.

Befuddled, Near stared at her and the bottle clasped in her hand.

"Near, I'm sorry to say that you have received strep throat from your illness," Maria explained, tightening her fingers around the bottle.

Near swallowed thickly, searching for the right words to use. But he thought of nothing.

"Strep throat is a contagious disease caused by infection and bacteria," Maria continued, pacing the room as the spoke. "Strep throat symptoms are generally fever, sore throat, swollen lymph nodes in the neck and redness and swelling in the tonsils and throat; all of which you have, unfortunately. You also have patches of white and yellow on your tonsils, which is also a symptom. Don't worry, Near, strep throat is common with people your age, and you can't die from it. You just need to proper treatment, which we'll gladly give."

She uncapped the blue bottle and brought out a measuring cup- no, not the ones you use for cooking- and poured a small amount of the molasses-like liquid into the cup. She then handed it to Near, who took it, unsure about it all.

"This will numb your throat a bit so it doesn't bother you all that much. It will also help you sleep."

Near blinked. Then, eyeing the blue liquid suspiciously, he raised the cup to his lips. It slid down his throat slowly, and he had trouble swallowing it. But he was glad he could barely taste anything, in case is tasted foul.

When he finished, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve, leaving a vague blue streak behind. His throat felt slick and it already started to numb down a bit.

"Better?" Maria asked, taking the cup from him. Near nodded. She smiled. "Now, why don't you get some rest? It's the best thing to do right now for your condition."

So when Maria left the room, Near laid his head down on the soft pillow, some of the pain ebbing away, and closed his eyes.

He tried everything he could to go to sleep, he really tried, but the pain began to come back after a long while and it got harder to drift off to sleep. His throat become scratchy again and the pain in his leg grew unbearable.

What was happening to him?

Then, Near did something that he hadn't done in a long time.

He began to weep.

He sobbed, hysterical hiccups racking his body. His salty tears drenched the silk pillow case as they cascaded down his cheeks. He hated this feeling. This feeling of dread. The feeling of pain. The feeling of being locked up. The feeling of not feeling anything.

What was he? Was he a plaything for the world to treat him as something as small as an ant?

Near blinked away extra tears and put his hands together in a prayer.

He had seen Mello pray before. He had seen him at Wammy's House praying in the chapel, clinging to the crucifix hanging loosely around his neck. Near often wondered what Mello prayed about, and when he worked up the nerve to ask one day, his answer was a punch square in the jaw.

Near squeezed his eyes shut and prayed, hard. He prayed to the God he'd heard about up in the sky. The God that wasn't Kira, but the God that had made the earth and everything in it. He prayed to that God. He prayed that he would get better, soon. He prayed for God to take the pain away. He prayed, and prayed. And as he prayed, he cried silently.

Maybe Mello was listening.

Wherever he was.

And when he finished, he fell back into his pillow and finally fell asleep.

And he dreamed.

Can you guess who he dreamed about?


	8. Recovery

**A/N: I realize that this is really late beyond my standards, but I have my reasons. **

**I was on vacation for ten days, so I couldn't update, but I did manage to write it while I was on my trip. So, yeah. **

**Anyway, I think I have 1 or 2 more chapters until this fic is... _finito. _Yep. I am going away again, -huge sigh- but I'll be able to bring my laptop with me, so I can write/update the next chapters. **

**A few warnings: I think my writing sucks in this chapter. I kind of wrote this on the plane ride, and I _hate _plane rides, because I'm terribly claustrophobic, and the plane fumes were getting to me, so. If you agree, by all means, agree. Also, Near might seem extremely OOC in this chapter... I had to add some "minor" emotions. **

**Please enjoy, and again, sorry for the wait. **

* * *

Near awoke early one morning, hazily rubbing his eyes and blinking them open. He yawned hugely as the blurriness of sleep disappeared. Rain pattered on the windows, and Near immediately noticed the dark storm clouds raging in the sky. He sighed; the noisy rain slamming against the glass and the roof was already starting to annoy him. He noted that the rain probably wouldn't stop for a while. Sighing again, he suddenly came to a sudden out of the blue realization.

He realized that he immediately felt strange. Not the bad kind of strange, but the good kind of strange.

He noted that he felt more competent than the previous agonizing mornings. He also noticed that his throat wasn't as tender and painful anymore, although it still had a slight miff to it. The usual uncomfortable warmth wasn't penetrating him that much anymore, and fresh, cold sweat drizzled off him as the breeze from the still-blowing air conditioning buffeted his body.

Near sat up, feeling relieved and puzzled at the same time as he found he no longer had as much trouble doing so as before, when his illness was at its worst. The aching stiffness had faded a bit, thankfully, and he didn't feel so debilitated and queasy.

As he patted himself gently, his hands seemed to have a mind of their own and came across his annihilated leg, which was bare without the cast since he had to, and quote, "let it air out and breathe" so it would heal faster. Near's fingers curled around the bottom of his long hospital gown, and he carefully pulled it up so he could see his leg and begin to analyze it.

With great surprise, he noted that the skin wasn't as yellow and disgusting as before, and it was no longer held in an odd manner. It was seemingly straight and not as crooked, and when Near managed to move it, it didn't sting and he could move it as much as he liked without harming anything in particular. Large, grotesque flakes of dead skin still fell off, but that was about it for the con list. Near decided to give his leg a rest and made it go still.

As expected, the door swung open moments later, revealing Maria in her usual nurse attire. She came in looking anxious and tense, like she had the previous days. And when she saw Near, sitting upright with his face looking more lively, she was immediately baffled.

"Near...?" she murmured, a hint of question in her voice. She took a few steps towards him, unsure.

Without another word, the befuddled look still scrawled across her face, she walked over to the counter and pulled out a thermometer from one of the drawers. She stuck the small device under Near's tongue, and told him to close his mouth. He skeptically did so, the thermometer feeling uncomfortable and foreign between his lips and under his tongue.

Maria took it out after waiting a minute, and looked at the numbers displayed on the teensy screen. She looked shocked, but there was relief in her expression as well.

"Your... Your fever has gone down," Maria said, letting out a long, relieved breath. "Thank God..."

Thank God.

Just then, Near remembered his prayer the night before.

He remembered that he prayed for the Lord to take the pain away, and he prayed that he would get better, and for all his overwhelming misery to end. And God had answered. Partially that, anyway. Most of his pain had disappeared completely, and like Maria told him, his fever had gone down. But still, his heart wasn't yet set to stop grieving for the death that happened so long ago, that still seemed like it had occurred yesterday. He wasn't ready to forget; not yet.

His prayer had been answered.

Near screamed a shout of glee inside his head, which was very uncharacteristic for someone like him, and sent it up to the heavens. _Thank you so, so much, God, Lord, Messiah, Prince of Peace, Omega, Redeemer, Creator of Earth-_

Suddenly, another realization hit him smack in the middle of his head.

The meeting with L.

Near had been so caught up in his sickness and medications and willing himself to get better and other sorts of hospital stuff that he completely forgot about the meeting with L. Or Kira, for that matter.

_Commander Rester told me that he and Gevanni set the time for February 7th... And today is...what?_

"Maria, what's the date of today?" Near asked. She glanced up at him, a bit surprised regarding the question.

"Um, February 6th. Why?"

Near's breath hitched in his throat. That meant that tomorrow was the meeting. He wouldn't let himself miss it, or else if he had to postpone the meeting again, he would look weak and unprepared.

But the upside was that he was better, much better than the days before.

"Why?" Maria asked again, very curious.

Near glanced up at her, remembering her presence. He couldn't tell her the true reason, hence it would trigger an uprising in the hospital. Maria must've known about Kira, same with all the other patients and staff, and if he were to tell her that he was supposedly meeting the one and only serial killer, she would become immediately shocked. As well, she would suspect something. Something like, "Why is this innocent little boy meeting an at-large murderer?" He would have to immediately tell her he's at the center of the SPK, and that would cause some more panic and confusion. He decided to keep his answer simple.

"I was merely wondering."

Maria blinked. "Are you that eager to get out of the hospital?" she joked.

Near just shrugged and looked down at the floor. Maria let out a shallow breath between her teeth, and she found herself gazing at Near's battered leg.

"Near," she breathed. "Your leg... It..." She let herself trail off dazedly as she approached the bare leg. She gently laid her hands on the healing skin, and Near flinched as her cold plastic-gloved hands softly caressed him.

"It's healed," she murmured. "It's healing."

Maria gripped the leg cautiously and lifted it up for further examination. She bent it at the knee and straightened it out again, bent it, straightened it, bent, straightened, and so on.

"Your leg has drastically healed in the past few days, even while you were ill," Maria explained. "It's still broken, but you may even be able to go home..." She spoke the last part quieter. But Near caught what she said.

_Will the hospital let me out tomorrow? _Near wondered.

"Maria," Near began. "Do you think you could call Gevanni and Rester, and ask them to come see me? I need to have a conversation with them."

Maria nodded without a question. "Of course, Near." And with that, she turned around and shuffled out of the room.

Near waited. And waited. He could hear Maria talking on the phone, but the door muffled her voice. He couldn't hear what she was saying. He let a small huff escape and fell back on the sheets. Figuring he had nothing else to do to keep him company while he waited for the two men to come, he decided to rest his eyes. Blinking them closed, he felt his body get lighter and he drifted off into the realms of sleep.

_"You are Kira," Near announced solidly, pointing to a looming, menacing shadow before him. The shadow had glowing red eyes and a voice that sounded like nails on a chalkboard._

_"Well done, Near," the voice cackled, sending minor shivers up the boy's spine. Near forced himself to look unshaken. "I knew you would find out sooner or later. You really are the most sharpest knife in the drawer, aren't you?"_

_"It only made sense," Near said, voice full of confidence. "Since the previous L suspected you, I had to go along with it, along with some of the evidence he left behind."_

_More manic laughter could be heard throughout the building. It echoed off the walls and vibrated in his ears._

_"Ah, dear L," Kira mocked. "He was foolish. Brilliant, but foolish. That was why he was so easy to kill."_

_Near secretly curled his hands into fists. "No. You are the one who is foolish. That's why so many people suspect you of being Kira."_

_The air turned quiet. He could sense that Kira was taken aback. "Nuh, uh, little Nearie," Kira mocked yet again. Near knit his nonexistent eyebrows together at the awful nickname. "You are foolish. That's why you haven't noticed your dead comrades behind you."_

_Near's eyes widened as he peeked over his shoulder. He almost let out a little squeak of terror and surprise as he saw the bodies sprawled on the ground._

_The bodies of Rester, Gevanni and Lidner. Their eyes were wide open, but unseeing. Near's breath caught in his throat. Rester seemed to be holding out a hand to Near, begging for him to save him. But it was too late, wasn't it?_

_Kira cackled wickedly again, louder than before. He saw how helpless Near looked in the dim lighting, and that somehow made him stronger._

_"You're next, Near."_

_Near opened his mouth, but instead of words a strangled shriek came out as he felt a sharp painful pang shoot through his chest-_

Near's eyes shot open and he sat bolt-upright in his bed, panting heavily. Thick beads of sweat trailed down his cheeks and stained the cotton cloth of his hospital gown. He noticed that he was trembling all over, and his breath came out in short, shaky gasps. Tears he didn't know he was crying flooded down his cheeks in overwhelming rivers of misery.

Was that how the meeting with L/Kira was going to turn out? Was God trying to send him a message? Was Kira capable of killing him as he did with the true L? Was that Near's fate?

There was so many questions tumbling around Near's head, permeating the miserable things already weighing on the small boy's mind. He already had too much to handle, let alone the mourning over Mello's death.

He was so caught up in his nightmare that he didn't notice the two worried-looking men standing in front of him.

"Near?"

Near snapped out of his daze, rubbing his eyes vigorously before staring at the two familiar faces.

"Gevanni? Rester?" Near mumbled.

The men nodded.

"What's the matter, Near? You looked rather startled when you woke up," Rester said.

Near realized they had watched the whole thing. Him looking traumatized when he first woke up from his horrendous nightmare, and him crying without realizing it. He quickly wiped away the remaining tears, alarmed.

"Bad dream," Near muttered quietly.

"About what?" Gevanni prompted.

Near knew they weren't trying to be pushy, they were just worried. So, without hesitation, Near told them all about his nightmare. They both looked flummoxed when he finished.

"I see..."

No one said anything after that. Rester could tell that Near was somewhat worried and nervous for tomorrow. He knew he couldn't help it. Near wasn't necessarily the type of person to get worried easily, but regarding everything that's happened to him the past few weeks, let alone mourning over Mello's death, he was mentally scarred with emotions. No one could blame him. It was bad enough being trapped in a hospital for so long without anything to do or anyone to keep him company other than the nurses.

"Hey," Rester piped up, deciding to change the subject. "At least you're much than before, eh, Near?"

"Yes."

Rester managed a meaningful smile and gently patted Near's thin shoulder, gripping it with a firm but steady hand and looking into those large, black eyes.

Near was somehow lost in the moment. Suddenly, as he stared into Rester's lively eyes, all his feelings came swarming to the surface, his bottled-up emotions swelling deep in his chest and exploding like a volcano. His miserable past came tumbling into his mind, his past emotions burning a hole inside of him.

He remembered how forlorn he had been when he first found out about Mello's unexpected demise, and how he had felt the days after, and how he was so close to taking his own life when he nearly stepped in front of the train, and how he awoke in the hospital with a broken leg, and how he found out about his near-comatose illness. His whole depressing past left him blank, and choking with tears.

The next thing he knew was tears were cascading down his pale cheeks and he was weeping miserably, hiccuping and choking and he found himself falling against Rester's chest and gripping the older man's flannel shirt, holding on tightly as if he would topple over any second. Rester's eyes widened for a minute, not expecting the frail boy to perform this action at all. Gevanni was equally surprised.

But Near felt so warm curled up against his chest, despite the cold tears that seeped through his shirt. Rester clutched onto the boy in his arms, hugging him like a father would to his son. He meant for the hug to be reassuring, and he soon found himself rocking back and forth slowly, as if he was cradling an infant.

"Near... Everything will be alright," Rester whispered calmly, rubbing the boy's back soothingly.

Near sniffled and wiped away a few tears with his sleeve. He leaned back his head and gazed up at Rester, eyes puffy and bloodshot.

"It was just a dream anyway, Near," Gevanni remarked. "It doesn't mean it can become a reality."

Near turned his head to Gevanni. He didn't say anything, just nodded languidly. The tears stopped flowing as Near managed to contain himself, and pulled away from Rester. He saw the tear stains he had left behind on Rester's thin, cotton shirt and looked away, finding his cheeks growing warm with blush. He realized he must've looked like a stupid bawling child, and severely wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. He'd never felt this embarrassed, ever, in his life. He wondered what the men were thinking, regarding their still-surprised expressions.

"So," Rester spoke up, clearing his throat and eyeing Near. "Do you think they'll be able to let you out of the hospital for tomorrow?"

"We can't tell the reception the real reason, Rester," Gevanni pointed out. "We'll just have to ask politely when they'll be able to let him out."

"I know. I wasn't born yesterday," Rester joked. Gevanni stifled a snort.

Then, as perfect timing calls, there was a light tapping on the door, and Maria let herself in. "Hello. How is everything here?"

"Maria," Gevanni said, standing up and facing her. "When were you planning to let Near go?"

Maria blinked rapidly, looking back and forth between Rester and Gevanni. "Well, we still have a few more medications to give him, and we have to re-bandage his leg, but..." She glanced over to Near, and gave him the tiniest smile. "...Perhaps tomorrow morning, if not close to the afternoon."

_Perfect,_ Near silently thought. _I remember Rester and Gevanni saying they scheduled the meeting for 1:00 PM._

Rester nodded his thanks. "Thank you so much," he said. "Do we owe you now for his stay?"

Maria paused for a moment, deep in thought, as if remembering something. Then, she grinned and responded, "No. The bank will manage it, since we asked them to, since Near was such a brave young man, and I've learned so much from him."

Near felt his cheeks grow warm and a sweet, swelling feeling welled in his chest at the unexpected praise.

"Are you sure?" Rester asked, shocked. Maria nodded. "Thank you so much, Maria, again."

"No problem." She turned to Near, who looked up at her with solemn eyes. "I wish you the best luck, Near. Get fully well soon. I know what you will become when you grow up will change the world drastically in some way." She patted his arm, that unforgettable, friendly smile glowing on her face.

_Oh, how much she doesn't know,_ Rester thought, lips turning up in a smile.

Near looked up towards the ceiling- towards the sky, and directed his next thoughts to the one he's been grieving for for the past few weeks.

_Don't worry, Mello, I will bring down Kira, and avenge L, for the both of us. All I wish is that you will be watching me, and may your spirit guide me through it. Because I am finally free, and ready to bring justice once and for all._

* * *

**A/N: I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter... I checked the word count. This author's note is going to make it even longer, because I have some very important things to discuss... **_  
_

**My updates (for all my stories, probably) will be less frequent then usual, because I am going through an _extremely _rough time. Let me explain. **

**I have a horrendous case of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), very bad anxiety, insomnia, really _really_ badAnthropophobia (fear of people), and major depression. And there's also a slim chance of me having diabetes.  
**

**I can't do anything anymore. I can't go outside, and it's not because I'm not allowed to, it's because I _can't. _My fear of people has gone over the edge (I know what you're thinking. Oh, she's a stupid wimp. People won't hurt you. No. That's not the way I see it.), and same with my claustrophobia. I was stuck in an elevator with _ten _random strangers on my trip and I suffered a panic attack. I can't find the will to do anything anymore. **

**Also, I have been dealing with issues at home as well. My dad and my brother verbally, mentally, and emotionally abuse me everyday. Usually it's physical with my brother, and I can understand that I guess, but we _never _get along. _Never. _My mom tries to help me but to no avail. My dad even threatened to kill me once. **

**I see a psychiatrist and a psychologist and a counselor, for mental health and whatnot. It's getting better, I guess, but, still.  
**

**I know I'm telling you a lot right now, but I want you to know _exactly _why my updates will be infrequent. And I swear, I'm not trying to fish for any sympathetic reviews, PMs, etc. etc. **

**Thank you all for bearing with me throughout this fic... it means a lot. You guys are simply wonderful. I love you all :) **

**And... remember to review! :) **


	9. Optimism

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. My life has been hectic as usual, and I'm on vacation right now, so I didn't really have much time to write. But thanks for sticking with me throughout this fic. I know it's been slow with the updates and whatnot. Blame me, because I _am _to blame. **

**Next chapter is the last one. I am going to upload the last chapter as quick as I can, I promise. **

**Enjoy! And reviews are welcome, of course. :) **

**Near: I know the readers are eager to read the next chapter, so update quickly this time, will you? They're tired of waiting. -.- **

**Me: Shut it . **

**I try my hardest. **

**R&R, and sorry for Near being annoying. **

**Near: Hey! **

**Me: I SAID SHUT IT . **

* * *

Near burst through the door of headquarters, breathing in the smell of the aura he hadn't dwelled in for a long time. Lidner was sitting on the couch sipping a steaming cup of coffee. She glanced up when she heard the door swing open and her whole face lit up when she saw Near.

"Near," she said, smiling widely. "It's so good to have you back."

Her face was so bright and cheerful that Near had to smile back. "Hello, Lidner. It is good to be back."

Near hobbled into the room, feeling unfamiliar on his new crutches. He had gotten them last night, because his leg wasn't healed exactly enough to walk on yet. It was wrapped firmly in a fresh, hard cast, and Near still had trouble using the crutches. He had never used any before, and he hadn't been able to practice enough to achieve perfection.

Lidner saw him struggling, and she stood up to help him.

"No, I've got it," Near insisted, voice strained. "Thank you, though."

Lidner nodded, but still kept a close distance incase he stumbled or toppled over. "I heard you got quite sick while you were there, huh? Rester told me everything. He was so concerned."

Near stopped trying to walk, and his eyes turned downcast. He nodded slowly, remembering Rester's reaction when he first saw how ill Near became. His face was surprised yet despairing, and so much emotion was held in his eyes. Near couldn't seem to get the images out of his head, since they made him sad to think about.

Lidner watched him, how disconsolate he looked, and decided to change the subject. "So," she began, blowing a breath out. "we've got the big meeting with L today, don't we?"

That snapped Near back to reality. He glanced up at her and held her gaze. He could read her perfectly; she seemed a bit nervous, but still determined. Near almost felt the same way, although he felt more determined than scared. He had all the proof and evidence he needed to be sure the fake L was Kira. There were no mistakes; L was Kira.

"Yes," Near said firmly. "Yes, we do."

_Near winced as he felt the strange fluids collaborating with his veins and arteries in his leg from the IV drip. He gradually began to feel a bit stronger as the nutrients began to flow through his leg, and his whole body. He needed the strength to go home, so it wasn't so hard lugging a numb leg around on crutches for so long. His impassive eyes stared at the IV drip and nothing else. If he stayed completely still, he could almost hear the faint sound of the fluids dripping down the tube, and nearly feel the liquid rush through his body. It was an uncomfortable feeling, but somehow it soothed his savage thoughts. _

_Near still had a slight cough, and he was feeling stiff all over. His infection had faded, thankfully, and he finally felt better than he had in what seemed like ages. Except, his leg wasn't fully healed yet. But the doctor said it would take at least five more weeks to heal, since Near already spent a week in the hospital and it naturally takes six weeks for a leg bone to heal. Five more weeks of lugging a heavy cast around while on agitating crutches. Near sighed at the thought. _

_Although the thought of finally getting out of the hospital made Near perk up a bit more. Rester and Gevanni would arrive in a few hours to take him away and back to the SPK headquarters. Plus, Near was kind of getting fed up with wearing a flowing hospital gown and not his usual white pyjamas. He missed his old clothes. He wasn't fond of wearing dresses. _

_As Near continued to watch the liquid drip out of the plastic bag at the top, there was a light tap on the door before it was opened. Near turned his head. Maria was hovering in the doorway, her clipboard held under her arm and a pencil behind her ear. She flashed a smile at him when his eyes met hers. _

_"Hello, Near. How are you doing?" she asked wonderously. _

_"Fine, thank you," Near answered. _

_Maria's smile grew wider and she walked over to him. The sounds of her white heels clacking on the floor filled the room. She glanced up at the IV drip bag. Then, without a warning, she plucked the IV needle right out of Near's leg. Near jumped as soon as it was taken out. He winced as his skin felt prickly with pain. It ebbed away as soon as it started, and Near exhaled quietly as Maria laid a warm washcloth over the spot where the needle was. _

_Maria slid the pencil out from behind her ear and began to write something on the clipboard. And as Near watched her, he realized that he would kind of miss her when he left. _

Is that normal? _Near asked himself, sort of ashamed. He pushed the thought away. _

_Then, Maria made herself comfortable on the edge of Near's bed. She looked into his eyes, and he stared back. She gently patted his non-broken leg. _

_"You take care, Near Rivers, you hear?" she insisted firmly. And it wasn't an asking, it was a demand. _

_Near nodded. Maria smiled. "I'll still be here when you get your cast off, doncha worry, darlin'." Near couldn't help but crack a smile at the accent she was trying to pull off. She let out a small giggle. _

_"I've had a good time with you, Near, and I never say that to any of my patients." _

_Near felt himself vaguely blush at the compliment. Apparently, Maria saw him, and she let out another giggle. That only made the pinkish hue grow brighter. Near tried to hide his cheeks behind his hands, but to no avail. It only made him obvious. _

_Maria decided that Near was feeling too awkward, so she decided to drop the matter altogether. "I don't think I'll be able to forget you."_

_Near let his hands drop. "And, is that a bad thing?" Near inquired hesitantly. _

_Maria beamed. "Nope," she said, before leaning down to give Near a hug. _

_When she pulled back from the hug, Near was blushing fiercely. She guessed he couldn't help it. _I don't think he's ever been hugged by a nurse, _she deduced silently, stifling a small chuckle. _

_Then, she stood up and rested the clipboard under her arm again. "Why don't you get well-rested before you go back home? It'd be a good idea, and also so you have enough strength to practice walking on crutches." She winked at him. He shrugged sheepishly back. And he decided to take her suggestion into consideration. _

_Maria left the room, and he lay down on his pillow, pulled the covers over him, and closed his eyes. Soon enough he fell unconscious, and he dreamed of Kira's execution. _

_A couple hours later, he woke up bleary-eyed. Rubbing his eyes with his fists, he remembered that Rester and Gevanni were bound to pick him up in a little while. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was 11:30 AM on the dot. _

_Near looked around and saw his white pyjamas laid out on the foot of his bed. They looked newly washed and wrinkle-free. Also, they smelled like tangerine-vanilla laundry detergent. _

_Near took off his hospital gown and put on his pyjamas, which felt warm and snug on his body. He missed his clothes. _

_Just when he was pulling on his sock, someone knocked on his door. He expected Maria, but when a voice on the other side asked, "Near?" it didn't sound like her. _

_The door opened, and Rester and Gevanni walked in. They both smiled at him when they saw him. "Hello, Near. I see you're all ready to go," Gevanni said. Near nodded. _

_"We already talked to Maria, and she said we could take you now. I assume she's already said her goodbyes?" Near nodded again. _

_"I am ready to go," Near affirmed. _

_"Right." _

_Rester put a hand on Near's back as he led him out into the hallway. Near had to walk with crutches, so he was a little slow, but Rester was patient. He led him out of the hospital doors and out into the parking lot. Gevanni took the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the doors of his black Sedan. Near was relieved he was finally going home. After giving the hospital one last look, he climbed into the backseat. And off they drove. _

Near breathed in the air as he hobbled into his room. Closing the door behind him, he looked around. Everything was right where he left it. His train tracks, his toy box, his bed, everything. Nothing was out of place or disturbed. Just the way he liked it.

He limped over to his toy box and opened it up. With observant eyes, he made sure that every toy was in there. He was satisfied when everything seemed to be in good measure.

After locking the toy box, he shambled over to his shelf where his kits lay. He brought down his finger puppet kit and opened it. He skimmed his fingers over every puppet before choosing the one with the golden locks.

"Mello, I hope you are watching when I bring Kira down," Near whispered to the puppet, holding it up to his face. "If you are there with me, I am sure I can do it."

"Near?" a voice asked on the other side of the door. It was Rester. "L is on the line."

"Okay." Near let a breath escape and put Mello back in the case. He gathered his crutches and headed for the door.

Outside, the letter L was displayed on the screens, and Gevanni was holding the microphone out to him. Near took it and sat down on the floor, holding the microphone to his lips.

"Good afternoon, everyone," he greeted into the mic.

_"Good afternoon, Near," _a voice on the other end of the line responded. _"You were gone for quite a while, weren't you?" _He swore he heard a low sneer. _"Your comrades had to set up the meeting for you." _

Near grimaced. "Yes, well. Important business," he lied.

_"I see. Well, we have the notebook secure here. Aizawa is the one who is going to carry it. I thought you might prefer that." _

"Yes, thank you. I appreciate it. I guess we'll see you shortly." Near pressed the button and hung up. The L disappeared in a flash.

"How dare he, bring up the matter of Near's absence!" Rester hissed, clenching his fists.

"Rester, it's all right. He doesn't know where I actually was, and that's all that matters for now," Near reassured him. Rester let out a loud breath and unclenched his fists.

"Right then. We have a little while to get organized and ready before we need to go to the Wharf," Gevanni said. "Near, the real notebook is in the vault. Who would you like to carry it?"

"I will. I'll hide it under my clothes," Near decided.

"Near, are you sure?"

"I am positive. Please get the notebook and hand it to me."

Gevanni reluctantly obeyed and put the notebook in Near's outstretched hand after he retrieved it from the vault. Near ran his hand over the black leather covering, before slipping it into his shirt. The bagginess of his clothing disguised the notebook well, so it wasn't obvious he was smuggling it under his clothes. He tucked the front hem of his shirt into his pants so the notebook wouldn't slip out when he walked.

As the others went to get ready, Near teetered into his room, making sure to close the door behind him, and went over to his toy box. He fumbled with the latch before pushing it open, and peered inside.

He rummaged through all his toys before he found just the thing he was looking for, and it was squished at the bottom. It was the L mask he had specially made for him when he was at Wammy's House. He kept it ever since, especially after L died. He pulled the mask out of the box and blew the dust off of it.

Near decided to wear it when he went to the meeting, so he was supposedly safe in case L-Kira had any piece of the notebook on him. He hid that under his shirt as well until he got to the Wharf.

"Near, are you ready to go?" Rester asked as Near shuffled out of his room. Near nodded rigidly as Rester put a hand on his shoulder.

"Then let's make the best of it, why don't we?"

"We'll take the GMC," Rester decided as they walked into the garage. He grabbed the keys off their hook and unlocked the shiny black GMC van. Then everyone piled into it; Rester and Gevanni in the front, and Near and Lidner in the back. Rester started the car's engine and pulled out of the building.

And they were off.

_I despise this futile, indiscreet, puerile cast, _Near growled inside his head as he stared pointy objects at the mold on his leg. He leaned forward and pulled his pant leg over the cast so it was covering it up so no one could specifically spot it. Near let out a sharp breath as he sat upright again.

"You all right, Near?" Lidner asked incredulously. Her discriminating amber eyes bore into his, making him almost question her asking.

"Yes, I would sure hope so," Near deadpanned. He mentally kicked himself after he spoke.

Lidner chuckled softly. "There's nothing to worry about, Near. I admit, I'm a little nervous as well. But," she patted Near's leg out of understanding. "everything will be okay in the end. We'll walk away victorious." She almost shouted the last word out of willpower and raised a fist in the air. It made Near stifle a smirk.

"You go, Miss Independence!" Gevanni wisecracked, looking in the rearview mirror at her. Lidner let out a jubilant laugh. Rester chortled. Near didn't know what to do.

After the jokes died down and the car ride to the warehouse seemed to take ages, Near put his chin in his hand and stared out the window. He saw other cars whizzing past, saw numerous trees standing on the side of the road, saw shadows looming on hilltops, saw the- dark gray clouds raging in the sky?

"Oh great, not another thunderstorm," Rester murmured, spotting the darkening sky as well.

"Good thing we didn't plan the meeting outdoors," Gevanni remarked. Rester nodded.

Soon enough, they pulled up next to the abandoned warehouse. They didn't see another car anywhere, so that must've meant that L and the others hadn't arrived yet. Near exhaled secretly as they exited the GMC.

They all walked up to the giant metal red door at the front of the building, with Near following behind a bit slower, as because of his crutches. Rester hauled the door open, and they filed silently in.

The whole room was empty, and huge. The only sounds were the giant revolving fan built into the wall and the gentle tinkling of the pipes. Near felt very small as he staggered into the building.

"They should be here soon," Rester said, looking at his watch. "We are a few minutes early."

With one last glance around, Near sat down painstakingly in his usual sitting position, trying cautiously not to crush his busted leg under his weight. After he got comfortable, he heard the door start to slowly creak open-

_They're here- _

Near pulled out his mask in a flash and put it on his face-

The door opened all the way-

And there they stood.

_Finally. _Near narrowed his eyes. _He's walking right into his doom. _

Only a short distance was between his team and L's.

In the thick dim lighting Near saw L's eyes slowly narrow, and Near realized he was confused about the mask on his face. Near smiled unethically behind the mask.

_L... Kira... prepare to be brought to justice. _

_Mello, are you watching? _


	10. The Final Showdown

**A/N: This chapter may seem really rushed. I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to get it done and over with, y'know? So I can write some new fics. :) **_  
_

**Enjoy the last chapter. :) **

* * *

_It all happened so fast Near almost didn't see it coming. _

_Light whipped out a pen and began to write on a small piece of paper poking out of his watch- _

_"HE'S HIDDEN A PIECE OF THE NOTEBOOK!" Rester yelled from behind Near. He was drowned out by the sound of a gun cocking and firing. _

_A blood-curdling scream echoed off the warehouse's walls and rang in Near's ears. He grimaced and shifted his weight on his leg. Blood poured out onto the floor and coated Light Yagami's hand._

_"MATSUDA, YOU IDIOT!" Light screamed at the shaking man with the gun. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE SHOOTING AT? DON'T FUCK WITH ME!" _

_"What was it all for, then? What about Soichiro, what the hell did he die for?" _

_Near almost felt the tension between them buzzing in his brain. _

_Light let out a low, manic chuckle. "That's right, Matsuda, in this world all those diligent people who fight for justice like him, they always lose." He grunted painfully between every word. "Do you want a world where people like him are made to be fools? I know you'd understand so kill the others- SHOOT THEM!" _

_Near cringed at the insane expression etched on his face. _

_"Y-you led your own f-father to his d-death... and now that h-he's gone you call him a FOOL?" _

_Blood still continued to trickle down Light's fingers. Near saw him eyeing the blood wonderously and began to get suspicious- _

_Light began to write on the piece of paper with the blood- _

_Matsuda reacted faster. He began to mercilessly pull the trigger as bullets made themselves comfortable in Light's skin. Light fell to the ground and writhed in pain. Matsuda ran up to him, shouting words of murder as he pulled the trigger again and a powerful gunshot rang throughout the building- _

_But he had missed. _

_For a few moments the world seemed to stop in time. The only sounds that was heard was Matsuda breaking down, not believing what he had done. _

_Just then, Light began to slowly get up, grunting with every movement. Near briefly wondered how he was still surviving. Light began to mutter horrendous things under his breath. _

_Then he began to plead for Mikami to write everyone's names down in the notebook. Near saw the pressure inflating in Mikami's eyes and- _

_"EEEGAAAAAAADD!" _

_The next thing he knew was crimson red blood was spouting from a wound in Mikami's chest. It sprayed everywhere, coating the floor in thick, hot blood. Everyone was puzzled for a minute before coming to their senses and rushing over to Mikami. _

_"Quick! Stop the bleeding!" someone yelled. _

_"It's too late, he'll be dead in a few seconds," Gevanni said darkly. _

_Mikami continued to scream bloody murder, and Near watched until he saw movement in the corner. He swivelled his head around and saw Light pulling open the door with all the strength he could muster, and staggered outside. _

_"He's getting away! Light!" Aizawa yelled. _

_Near almost stopped him, but found he didn't have the strength. He found his body was beginning to get tired and his leg began to cramp. He watched Light's team race out the door, screaming Light's name. _

The flashback cleared from Near's mind as Gevanni drove the GMC back to the SPK headquarters. Rester was sitting next to him, holding onto Near's crutches for him. Rester saw Near staring at him and locked eyes with his.

"You did good today, Near," Rester praised, placing a hand on Near's shoulder. "You made Kira look like a tiny helpless flea."

Near couldn't help but crack a small grin. "You too, Rester. And Gevanni. And Lidner. If you weren't there with me, _I'd _probably be the one looking like the tiny flea."

"Not true, Near. You'd still would've crushed him to pieces."

Near's smile grew wider. Then it faltered and his face became downcast. "Rester, do you think Mello was watching my- er, our victory?"

Rester blinked, then nodded. "Yes, Near. I think he was."

_-Finis-_

* * *

**A/N: Yep, it's over. I'm not really all that bothered, though, because I have a small weight lifted off my shoulders, and now I can write new fics. :) **

**Anyway, I would like to say, thank you, to everyone who read this fic. It's gotten very popular, and I thank you for that. Thank you so much. I would also love to thank my reviewers, hence they're the ones who motivated me to keep on writing. :) **

**Near: Now, that is what I call a victory. **

**Me: Me too, Near. *ruffles his hair* Good job. **

**Mello: Been there. Done that. **

**Me: ...Sorry, Mello. I'm sure you've been victorious as well. **

**Mello: Of course I have. Near's like a flea compared to me. *bites chocolate* **

**Near: AFTER ALL THAT CRYING OVER YOU, THIS IS WHAT YOU SAY IN RETURN? . **

**Me: CALM DOWN! *grabs Mello's hair and yanks Near's collar* Erm, sorry. They were both dropped as infants. They don't know how to behave in public. -.- **

**Hope you enjoyed! See you next time! **

_**~DeathNoteLuvr16**_


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